Book Review: The Naked Clone by the Rifftrax Crew

For those of you unfamiliar with Rifftrax...get on that. The former MST3K talent who produce bawdier and darker riffs for some of the absolute worst (and sometimes the best) movies of all-time (even worse than MST3K movies!) have their own channel on the free PlutoTV app. If/when you get hooked on them, they have their own streaming app where you can watch riffed movies commercial-free. (Note: If you're reading this in real-time, then WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER!?!?!? More importantly, the holiday season is the perfect time to get into Rifftrax. They have riffed versions of MST3K staples Santa Claus vs the Martians and Mexican Santa Claus (the live recordings of these were the best - and NO LUPITA NO!!!), other terrible movies like Santa's Summer Home and Whizzo the Clown's Christmas Circus, a tremendously funny live show of Christmas shorts, and of course the holiday classic Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny (choose the regular version over the live version - the live version somehow didn't click; also HURR HURR HURRRRRR).)

As you go through these movies, you'll notice some common riffs. The first one that comes to my mind is when someone says something terrible/disgusting and Bill riffs "Golden Corral's new slogan!". They also have Mike working in Gandalf impressions as well as the team asking if a competition is double-elimination (Over the Top reference), but one of the most famous recurring bits is working Nick Nolte into any gross situation.

To further flesh out the bit, Mike, Bill, Kevin, and Conor (one of the two British dudes) put out the book The Naked Clone: A Nick Nolte Mystery this year. The book follows Nick Nolte, former actor and current PI who has no problem slumming it or grifting (just like the real deal!), trying to find out why Hollywood bigwigs keep disappearing and then showing back up squeaky-clean (it's because of clones...uh, SPOILERS!). On the way to solving the mystery Nolte runs into and through Joe Don Baker, Gary Busey (and son...but WHOSE son?!?!), the guy who created ROTOR (!), and, most importantly, Nolte's "Rat Guy" Nico. But no - no Joe Estevez.

Instead of collaborating on this together, each of them wrote a chapter and then passed it off to the next person to continue the story. This makes the book very uneven and makes me wonder who wrote which chapters. The very first chapter, going into detail on all the peglegs in Hollywood alleys and their respective dancing abilities, is tremendously funny; the chapter creating the Nick Nolte Multiverse is better in concept than reality.

While it might be a roller-coaster (as opposed to a Roller Gator), this is the first time in a long time I can remember laughing out loud while reading a book - I've read many funny books, but I can't remember the last time I had to put the book down for extended periods because I was laughing too hard. When it works, it works, Ham Salad.

This was a silly and shoddily put together piece of trash, and I can't wait for a sequel. Eight out of ten hot dogs!